Sudden Sunsets

This has been a tough summer for my peers who have suddenly had their sunset thrust upon them too early.  Yes - my age bracket (50+) is playing on the back nine, but there are still more holes to play before that final putt into darkness.  Several of our classmates have fallen this summer.  This is in contrast to a couple of summers ago when it was a happy summer - the summer of the boy where we had 3 boys born into the family within about 2 months of each other.  This is a somber summer where instead of new life beginning - lives are being taken before their time.

Cancer seems to be the worst culprit.  Slowly and painfully chewing the life out of people. No quick ends,  I guess that you do get to say good bye to those you love and make amends, but it seems like such a tortuous way to go. But some have gone fast, too fast for any last words for your loved ones. And with this wave hitting,  5 that we know of so far and the summer is not over.  It makes it hard to think that this is part of getting older - saying good bye to classmates and relatives.  And realizing that the next Memorial Service you go to could be your last - your own!

And all this against a backdrop of the mass shootings in Europe and the US. It puts a person into a funk. You start to get numb to it all.  But it also makes you think of your own sunset, which we all hope doesn't come for a long, long while. And we need to think to ourselves -  that if we all live a righteous life and make those around you better then your sunset will be golden however and whenever you go.

Young Thomas

Young Thomas,

As Shakespeare once said, advice is wasted upon the young. But as a moth futilely finds itself drawn to a light, I find myself drawn to sharing what little wisdom that I have acquired over the years. But if perchance I can help you avoid a pothole or two on this lifes road then perhaps all was not in vain. So what follows is advice from the eldest to the youngest.

Neither a lender nor a borrower be. Lending money to friends or family is not loan - it is gift. If the money is paid back then so much the better. But don't hand over money willy nilly no matter how earnest the recipient is. And I hear that you are going to Wright State – a frugal move. Try to keep your students loans to a minimum. It all has to be paid back - with interest. And when you graduate the inclination upon getting that first job is to treat yourself to a new car. Get a car new to you that is 2-3 years old and still has good life in it. Again payments and insurance on a new car can put you in a bind financially. Our father is frugal and being frugal - but not cheap is a good way to lead your life. Life is easier when you have money. Ask any homeless person.

Moderation in all things. Alcohol, food, love, etc. – all are beneficial in the right quantities but an overindulgence in one or all will cause harm to the body or to the soul. So indulge – but know your limits so that you are never in over your head. Otherwise you could end up in a motel room in Las Vegas and wake up in the morning with a hangover - married to a stripper named Bambi. She talks a lot and likes to crack her gum when she chews it. Yep, shoulda used moderation.

I am glad of your choice of professions. But don't be afraid to explore other careers. Lots of folks go to school, find something they like better and change majors. I started in Business Administration, but ended up in computers for instance. But your chosen profession is good from the standpoint that it pays well. So that will help with social security solvent for us old timers. I plan to travel a lot, so those SS checks will keep me in gas money. And an additional bonus is the degree is in the medical field. So the money we get from social security will be turned around to keep us in viagra and prostate medicine which you can provide. For this I am doubly thankful.

Oh, but who am I kidding. Life is like giant millstone that grinds us all down. You are young and full of ambition and dreams. But life will grind all this out of you – look at me. Leaving nothing but coarse husks on the grain elevator of life. And then some cow will eat these husks and then... well you know what the cow leaves on the pasture. Don't let this happen to your life. No what you need to do now is flee – find a steamboat with your graduation money and sail far away to the Pacific. There you can start fresh on a tropical island and fish in the afternoon and drink daiquiris in the evenings. Yes if I had it all to again that is where I would be!!!

Well my advice should not be followed by any rational human being – but there it is. Use it as you will.

Your older brother,

J. Chris Tilton

Thorns and Flowers

Had a moment this evening.  Took Annabelle down to the creek and we did some exploring.  I explained how some plants have flowers, but some plants have thorns. I showed her some bramble bushes and hedge to show thorns.  So one has to be careful when exploring in the woods.  She wanted to climb to to the top of the hill.  I decided to let her go on her own to see how she did.  She carefully navigated the trees and eventually made it to the top - where she exclaimed,  look at me - I did it myself!

And it brought back to mind a melancholy moment watching Vanessa learning to walk years ago and thinking that those little feet are going to walk her out the door someday.  It brought me to thinking that as parents we teach our children the pitfalls and rewards to watch for, but it is their little feet that have to make the journey on their own.  You can only hope that your lessons of thorns and flowers hold true and that they remember what they were taught on their lifes journey.

We did have another learning moment - by the electric fence.  I explained that the fence bites - it has electricity and electricity can hurt you.  She went over by it and I held my tongue. I knew what was going to happen - some lessons we have to learn on our own. She reached out and I saw her snap her hand back. "Did you touch the fence?"  "No, no I didn't"  I knew that she reached out and touched it, but I also wanted her to learn to listen to gramps.  The next time I give advice - I have a feeling that she will listen. In life we enjoy the flowers but we must be careful of the thorns.

Satisfying weekend

This past weekend was satisfying on several different levels.  Chelsea and Dan were in town for his birthday, so it was nice to see them.  He seems to be on the right track with his job as a customer service rep, and heading in the right direction.  We went to Golden Corral and then bowled after the dinner.  Everyone had a good time and we stayed up until like 1am.

Robert called - it was nice to chat with him. We touch base every so often and it was an expected call, but I am always happy to hear from him.  His company is coming off of it's best year ever.  Coca Cola resigned him as an agent for 2016, so that is a big account that he can rely on.  He is also an outsourced VP for an Aloe company that is developing a drink for nationwide release.  They wanted to formally hire him, but he told them that he had too many commitments and could not back out.  So they made him a sub contractor and he even has 2 direct reports. We had joked about this at work - companies are outsourcing IT jobs left and right, so why not outsource executives.  Looks like this is coming true too!

 He made me feel good - told me that he considered me more of a real Dad than anyone else.  So it feels good to have a positive effect on someone.  He works hard and is successful - glad that things are working out for him.  In turn he has helped my kids from time to time.  So I appreciate that this has gone full circle and he has been able to mentor and advise my kids from time to time.

The weekend ended up with Joe coming back home late Sunday night. He flew from Japan to Atlanta and finally to Dayton.  He got in around 10:35pm.  He said that he thought that the cat was dead in Atlanta - he picked up the carrier at the baggage area and cat didn't move a muscle.  He finally tapped on the cage and called his name and the cat slowly responded.  I imagine that cat was happy to finally be released.  Ryker was fine at the airport.  All surely slept well last night.

So it is satisfying to have spent time with family and also to see everyone doing well.

Independent Annie

Last night we celebrated Dan's birthday and we ended the night at the bowling alley in Richmond.  On one lane we had the children set up with bumper pads and for the little ones they had a little ramp where they placed the bowling ball and gave it a push.

So I helped out Annie initially. I carried the ball over to the ramp and let her actually put it on the ramp. It was a 12 pound ball and I did not want her to drop it on her foot or anything. But she wanted to do things on her own.  And soon she got the ball herself and carried it over to the ramp.  Didn't want grandpa to help her anymore.

But even that evolved - she saw that the grownups were not using ramps on the next lane over and so she began to scoot the ramp out of the way.  Then lugged her bowling ball over and rolled it down the alley on her own. Now she did not knock as many pins down, but she is learning to do things on her own - so you have to like that.  An independent spirit in that 3 year old.

4th O' July

Pleasant 4th of July weekend all in all.  Heather was in for the weekend, so I got to catch up with her.  I guess that there is a chance that her office may be moved to Texas and so I asked if that happens - will she make the move?  She said that yes she would go.  So that would be a big change.  Also her daughter Megan is a senior this year.  She plans to go to law school and be an environmental lawyer, so she still has more work in front of her.

We had lunch at Buckeye Jakes - always a good place to eat.  Grandpa Jack asked who Dan was - had never met him even though he has been married to Chelsea for 3-4 years...

Had fireworks out at our place.  Asa and Shane had fun setting them off.

2015 in Review

Well it was a year with peaks and valleys.  We had a great time on our trip to Japan to visit Joe and Samantha and Ryker. It was Becky's first trip overseas and she handled it well. So that was a highlight.  We also were blessed with another grandchild - number 8.  Young Sterling Howard made her entrance in Columbus in December.  So that was another peak.  But Becky lost 2 sisters this year.  Her oldest sister, Evelyn died of cancer.  Then her sister Nancy had a stroke and died in her sleep.

 My Uncle Vaughn passed away this year too.  He fought cancer for quite a while and thought that it was in remission, but it finally overcame him.  When I was younger, he was probably my least favorite uncle.  Always seemed grouchy and grumpy. But with the passage of time I learned to appreciate his directness and learned to like him.  In a sense, it seems sometimes. that life is a series of hello's and goodbye's and new folks arrive and the aged depart.  You hope that you can leave a positive impression inbetween the hello and the goodbye.

Chad's wife, Sarah, has a job as a junior high teacher over in Richmond.  Junior high is a tough age to teach.  Young'ish teenagers trying to push their boundaries.  So the first year is an adjustment for her I am sure.  Both Cash and Serenity are doing fine.  Cash enjoys tinkering and inventing little things.  Serenity seems to waffle back and forth between being a tomboy and a princess.  Chad rebuilt his Chevy Sprint for the umpteenth time.  He seems determined to keep that thing running as long as NAPA makes replacement parts for it.

Vanessa and Eric are doing fine in Covington.  When the kids start to do sports I will have to learn to sit in the stands on the home side and cheer without gagging.  Elaina is doing OK at school, hard to believe that she is 9 now.  Young Violet has started kindergarten and seems to be thriving.  She dresses loud like Chelsea did.  And I do see some athleticism in her.  Young Elliot is bringing up the rear, but I am starting to see signs that he does not like to be pushed around by his older siblings.  He is tall for his age. At some point his sisters will be looking up to him.

Chelsea has returned to school - taking bio-technology at Ohio State.  And if that weren't enough, she just had child number 2.  So a lot of change in a short period of time.  I wonder if she trying to out do wonder woman or something.  Anyway a lot on her plate, but she seems to be handling it.  Dan has a job with power company as a customer service rep.  Seems to like it, so he is bring home the bread for now.

Young Annabelle is adjusting to having competition for Mom and Dad's attention.  So she is having to adjust as well.  Dan has been working with her at softball and she seems to get it and is showing some athleticism too.  When we let them hit the ball off of the tee, she did as well if not better than the older kids.

It was a pleasure to see Joe and Samantha in Japan.  We let them be our tour guides and they showed us a great time.  They took the time to ask around and find the best places to go. We went to some unique places and even got to see the emperors palace.  Young Ryker was a trooper throughout our visit and we got to spend some time with him. He seems like a people person.

 Joe will be leaving the air force soon and coming back home.  He is unsure what exactly he wants to do.  He enjoyed doing automotive upholstery but he might have found something with his father in laws company - they are thinking of expanding into solar power.  So he might try that out.  He is still young and should have the GI bill - so if he doesn't find anything he likes, then he can go back to school and find something new.

And finally we will be feeding into the star wars frenzy by watching star wars next week.  So support the empire - the Micky Mouse empire that is...