Tardy graduations to Julia

 

Ms. Julia Myers,

Tardy – I will bet that is a word that you have not heard in a while. Well I apologize for being tardy with your graduation present. 2020 has been a tumultuous year for everyone, and it is not finished yet. This is the first time I gave out a graduation present in September. As the expression goes – better late than never.

Well there is no doubt that when the family gathers around for the holidays that you will have a topper story of all topper stories. When your Dad talks about how bad the blizzard was back 1978, you can roll your eyes and say “Hrrumpth, that was nothing – let me tell about my senior year – it all started in the spring of 2020.”

Then you can go on about how you had the pandemic of 1917, depression and job loss of the 1930's, and race riots of the 1960's all in one year! Oh, you had a few snow drifts and had to go without Pepsi for a week, we had no toilet paper – for a month!

And like all good stories you need to grow this over time. Right now it is a seedling but in 20 years you can retell the story with a few embellishments. The story of 2020 will one day grow to a mighty Oak. You can say that you had to do school from home. They used passenger pigeons to send the work to you and then you wrote up your homework, tied it to the leg of the pigeon and sent it back. An oxcart used to come down the road once a week and picked up all the Covid dead and dumped them in the gravel quarry. How you used to barter a cut and manicure in a back alley for a roll of contraband toilet paper. With the right nurturing you will be able to keep future generations of kids enthralled with tales of 2020.

Well after this summer I am sure that you are ready for 2020 to be over and to get on with your life. I understand the plan is to be a hairdresser. Someone like me would give you little business with my diminishing quantity of hair. But I hope that you find a good shop and a loyal clientele. You will learn all the business – both good and bad, of the town where you set up shop. Maybe you can write a book about all the gossip – after you retire of course. I admire anyone who can keep up with all the trends. I can remember when blue hair was a permanent gone bad, now it is something that folks will pay extra for. Keeping up with fashion is something that I gave up on long ago, as you can tell by the way that I dress.

Well I am about to conclude. As I tell all graduates – neither a borrower, nor a lender be. Live within and actually below your means. No one is going to give you a pension, so start that 401k like now. Money is not everything, but being wise with money will make your life easier. Everything in moderation, alcohol, food, even love. I hope that the future treats you well and that you can retell the story of 2020 many, many times.