The Countdown

 

So Mom has been in failing health for awhile. She had her leg broken by a horse in the spring. They had to put a metal contraption on her leg to hold it in place while she healed. It was broken across where her artificial knee was inserted inside the lower leg bone to make things even more complicated.

Well she spent all summer in an extended care facility - Cascadia. Per medicare, the stay was limited to 100 days. When she was released one of the caretakers told me that “Your mother is a very sick woman. Most people don't stay here the entire 100 days. People are generally here for a month, maybe two. She used the entire 100 days and probably should have stayed more.” So a not so re-assuring sendoff.

Also while she in Cascadia she had to be taken to the hospital multiple times for respiratory distress. Fluid was collecting around her lungs making it difficult to breath. They gave her treatment – including actually using a needle to remove the fluid.

So then she was released to Solstice which was recommended by Xochitl, the social worker at Cascadia. Later we found that this was probably not the best place to go, but we went with it because it was recommended by a “professional.” She probably was not in there for more than week when she had to go to the hospital again. Oh, and during the 1^st stay, her heart stops but they are able to bring her back. She comes back to Solstice and after another week or so, she is returned to the hospital.

Then I get a call, she had a stroke. She could not sit up, talk, or move very much. She could press their fingers to answer yes and no and that was about it. The doctor explained that she was on blood thinners and that the treatment for a stroke was blood thinners. So it was a delicate balance to dissolve the blood clot.

Well she wakes up after sleeping for 12 hours and it is almost like nothing happened. She did not recall anything about the previous 24 hours. But just had some minor speech problems. Still she again cheated death – Mom is like a cat with 9 lives.

An after effect of the stroke is that sometimes she speaks in riddles. You have to stop and figure out what she is really trying to say. “Where are you going to eat” means I am hungry. “When is Matt going to be here?” means when is Chad arriving (she just got the name mixed up).

But now they are recommending hospice. It was a tough decision to make, but I said yes it is probably the way to go given her declining health. She had wanted to get stronger and go to Houston. That way she could be close to Heather. But with her poor health, travel just wasn't possible.

The doctor recommends Mesilla Valley hospice. So I say OK, lets move her there. But after about 4-5 days I get a call. Your mother is no longer in declining health, she has stabilized, and if she wants to stay here it will be $500 per day! What the ??? I was not very happy, I had called Solstice after the move and had the hospital bed, air, bed table, etc. all taken away. So now I had to call them back and say – nevermind, she is coming back after all.

By this time she has been in at least 5 different medical facilities in Las Cruces. It almost felt like she was being passed around so that everyone got a bite of the pie!

Now she is getting hospice care only it is at Solstice. My daughters, Vanessa and Chelsea, come down to visit her for about 5 days. They bring her treats to eat and have a good time visiting as well as hiking nearby hiking paths in the Las Cruces area.

Then I get the call that she has like 2 to 5 days left. So Heather comes to Las Cruces to stand watch and then I drive down a few days later. And she has up and down days, but does not appear close. We both concur over lunch that her time is not near. To borrow from Mark Twain – rumors of her eminent demise have been exagerated. Heather has to head down back home after about a week and that leaves Becky and I to stand watch.

Now there was one day where Becky said, “I don't think that she will make it through the night.” We come back the next day and she is sitting in her chair eating breakfast! And that has been the pattern for the last 2 weeks. Good days and bad days but she is hanging on. At times, she seems to be getting stronger.

Chad, like the girls, took some time off work to come visit grandma about this time. We also were able to work in a hike and visit a couple of nice restaurants. Joe was unable to make the trip as he had used all of his vacation. But we were able to do a video call with Joe and his family so that sufficed for them to give their regards - still she perseveres.

One theory we have is that they stop all medication, except medication that gives comfort. So maybe there was a conflict with all of the medications that she was on and by removing all the medications she is actually healthier. But it could be that she is just not ready to go. She has a strong mind, but a weak body.  

She is frequently asking to go to the ranch, outside, or just for a drive. I tell her that it just isn't possible until she gets stronger.  After I wrote this the caregive at Solstice said that she will try to arrange a bus ride for next week.  We shall see how this adventure goes.

So today the hospice nurse calls and says that Mom now has up to 6 months. Given their track record, I am not willing to bet any money on their prediction. However she sure seems to have 9 lives like a cat. We are going to the ranch for a week or so to see how things go. Then we will test the wind and see how it feels before we decide to stay or go home.

But this has opened my eyes to healthcare – or lack thereof to the elderly. Some bureaucrat decided that 100 days is the right target for the type of care that Cascadia provided. Then the deal with the 1^st hospice outfit. She wasn't in there a week and then we have to move her out. Why was I advised to move her there in the 1^st place!  I increasing find it difficult to rely on professionals. It certainly seems to very important to do your own homework.  But for now the countdown is on hold.