Friday, June 10, 2016

Young Thomas

Young Thomas,

As Shakespeare once said, advice is wasted upon the young. But as a moth futilely finds itself drawn to a light, I find myself drawn to sharing what little wisdom that I have acquired over the years. But if perchance I can help you avoid a pothole or two on this lifes road then perhaps all was not in vain. So what follows is advice from the eldest to the youngest.

Neither a lender nor a borrower be. Lending money to friends or family is not loan - it is gift. If the money is paid back then so much the better. But don't hand over money willy nilly no matter how earnest the recipient is. And I hear that you are going to Wright State – a frugal move. Try to keep your students loans to a minimum. It all has to be paid back - with interest. And when you graduate the inclination upon getting that first job is to treat yourself to a new car. Get a car new to you that is 2-3 years old and still has good life in it. Again payments and insurance on a new car can put you in a bind financially. Our father is frugal and being frugal - but not cheap is a good way to lead your life. Life is easier when you have money. Ask any homeless person.

Moderation in all things. Alcohol, food, love, etc. – all are beneficial in the right quantities but an overindulgence in one or all will cause harm to the body or to the soul. So indulge – but know your limits so that you are never in over your head. Otherwise you could end up in a motel room in Las Vegas and wake up in the morning with a hangover - married to a stripper named Bambi. She talks a lot and likes to crack her gum when she chews it. Yep, shoulda used moderation.

I am glad of your choice of professions. But don't be afraid to explore other careers. Lots of folks go to school, find something they like better and change majors. I started in Business Administration, but ended up in computers for instance. But your chosen profession is good from the standpoint that it pays well. So that will help with social security solvent for us old timers. I plan to travel a lot, so those SS checks will keep me in gas money. And an additional bonus is the degree is in the medical field. So the money we get from social security will be turned around to keep us in viagra and prostate medicine which you can provide. For this I am doubly thankful.

Oh, but who am I kidding. Life is like giant millstone that grinds us all down. You are young and full of ambition and dreams. But life will grind all this out of you – look at me. Leaving nothing but coarse husks on the grain elevator of life. And then some cow will eat these husks and then... well you know what the cow leaves on the pasture. Don't let this happen to your life. No what you need to do now is flee – find a steamboat with your graduation money and sail far away to the Pacific. There you can start fresh on a tropical island and fish in the afternoon and drink daiquiris in the evenings. Yes if I had it all to again that is where I would be!!!

Well my advice should not be followed by any rational human being – but there it is. Use it as you will.

Your older brother,

J. Chris Tilton